Introduction
It was raining and cold outside. Lola was quickly walking back to the Metro Station, umbrella in one hand and holding her bag in the other. “I don’t think I could do this,” Lola thought in her mind. Other ideas were racing through her head: “This would be too much work for me,” “This place is way too far for me,” “The position sounds difficult and I don’t want anything too difficult,” “Would I be able to handle classes and a 20 hour a week internship?”
Lola was just heading back to campus from a job interview with an advocacy organization. During her ten-minute walk to the Metro station, Lola began to doubt and was reconsidering her interest in the position. On the Metro, Lola continued to think. Although she had always wanted an internship, she was now starting to think twice. She called her sister who encouraged her to take the offer if the organization called her. “Just try it,” my sister said. I began to ask myself, “If I want an internship, why am I becoming so reluctant?” I then began to realize that I was afraid to try something new and step out of my comfort zone.
Background with “aha” moment
Lola grew up in Brooklyn, New York with her parents and two sisters. As a child, her parents enrolled Lola in swimming classes and ballet lessons, which ended by the time she entered junior high school. In 5th grade, Lola ran for class president. She made flyers to post around the school. During her speech to the school, Lola became extremely nervous. She never spoke to a crowd this large before in her life. Lola managed to make her speech despite her fright and panic. But after that, Lola refrained herself from public speaking. She never wanted to experience that dreadful feeling she felt when she was in 5th grade. In high school, Lola would not often speak in class, and if she did have a class project which required her to speak to the class, she would still get those uncomfortable feelings.
In 12th grade, when Lola was the president of the National Society of Black Engineers chapter in her school, she recited the “I Have a Dream” speech to an auditorium full of people. Although it was not something she intended to do (no one else in her chapter volunteered to do it), Lola prepped for it and was able to deliver. She never thought she would have been able to do it. She did feel quite nerous at first, but once she was up there, everything was alright. After, Lola then knew that she can speak publically and realized that she had been limiting herself because of mere feelings all along. She had overcome.
Professional Challenge
Working with an advocacy organization was an experience that Lola knew would enhance her career development. Writing and communication were skills Lola was looking forward to sharpen while on her 16-week internship. However, Lola never imagined that she would receive this in addition to direct personal critique and dining etiquette. By her second week, Lola was already getting critique about the outfit she wore to work. During her lunch meetings, Lola never thought her supervisor would be correcting her on where to place silverware on the lunch table or even how to eat. Lola thought that these were fairly elementary skills and lessons that seemed rather trivial and bothersome.
After work, Lola would think about the critiques and how they made her feel. At times, the critiques hurt and she complained about them to her sister, but she tried her best to correct anything she was doing wrong. The critique came weekly and during week 8 of her internship, Lola had to prepare herself mentally for the mid-semester evaluation. She did not want to become overly sensitive. During her evaluation, Lola realized that her supervisor was not doing this to make her life harder, but to help her. Was I just being too quite to judge?
Personal Challenge
Lola knew before she entered college that she wanted to major in criminal justice. She had an interest in learning more about the agents of social control, particularly the US courts system. In school, she also developed an interest in the law and enjoyed read casebooks. However, when asked what she wanted to become or what she wanted to do after college, she replies “I don’t know yet.” It is not that Lola never knew what she wanted to do. One time, she thought she wanted to go into public policy or advocacy, but after her internship with an advocacy organization, Lola knew that field was not for her. Lola researched online the many careers that a criminal justice major can take her, but none seemed like the right fit. She enjoyed the classes she has taken and concepts she learned in the classroom. She began asking herself if criminal justice was the right field for her. After learning about a program that introduces students to career fields in the corporate world, she applied to the program, hoping to gain exposure to other options. However, now in the 7th month of the 18th month program, Lola does not see herself going along that track. Lola is trying to find her passion, but has found that it is more difficult than she thought.