Introduction:
"Oh my god! The bus is coming!" Michelle silently screamed. It was the bewitching hour of 3:15 pm when her children got home from school. This was the time all hell broke loose and chaos ensued until her children went to bed. It was when the whining, crying, fighting and needing of Michelle's constant attention commenced. The Talking Heads song was ringing in her ears "SAME AS IT EVER WAS!" She had to prepare herself for what had become her reality which she called the onslaught of YUCK! For the next 6 or so hours it was homework, arguing, dinner, bath then bed. She dreaded it but it was also the life she had chosen. Did she have the right to feel ambivalent about a choice she consciously made? She had to try and adopt the Trace Adkins song "You're Gonna Miss This" [where he talks about how you'll miss all the mayhem once your kids are grown and gone] as her mantra so perhaps one day she would belive it and there would be more balance and joy and less dread to her days. Did she really have the right to want more than she already had?
Background:
Michelle grew up in Seattle, Washington. She has lived in Maryland for 15 years with her husband and 2 young boys. No one who knows her now would believe that Michelle was a shy and fearful child. It wasn't until she attended the small, private Overlake School that Michelle would discover she had a voice and people were listening. It was in this small, nurturing and encouraging environment Michelle found out she was a strong willed, self confident, bright and funny young woman. She had become a force of nature. She was on FIRE! It was like a dam had broken and all of her thoughts and ideas came pouring out. It was at Overlake that she learned and had success when she mapped out her ideas, made a plan and said "Go FOR IT!" who cares if you fail which helped allivate some of the anxiety she felt when she faced any challenge or change...good or bad. She was ready to take on the world! And that she did! This new found confidence was one of the attributes that gave her the chutzpah to study for a term in Avigon, France while in college. Also, it's what led her to an extremely long and successful career at Nordstrom before leaving it all behind to be a mom.
It was at a young age Michelle knew she wanted more out of life than the path her mother had chosen. Her Mom was pregnant at 17, had a shot gun wedding and never went to college or had a job outside the home. Michelle would not become the Jamie Lyn Spears or Bristol Palin of her day. She "GREW A PAIR" at 17 years old. She created her "Picket Fence Plan." This plan included college, scoring a rockin' job at Nordstrom, marrying a complete stud at age 25 followed by 2.5 children all while living in a beautiful house surrounded by a white picket fence in Seattle. Well, the college, the job, the husband and the kids followed but not in Seattle and the job went by the wayside with the arrival of her children. She felt fortunate she was able to make the choice to be a stay at home mom. There's a book called "The 10 Year Nap" that's about women who leave the work force to raise their kids and wake up 10 years later saying NOW WHAT? This is how Michelle has felt ever since she left the corporate world behind to focus on her family. But in focusing on her family, she's lost sight of who she is, what she is and does she still matter?
Professional Challenge:
So now that Michelle has woke up, WHAT NOW? She's been involved as a co-host for a cable access show called "In The Loop." It's like a local version of "The View." It's random how it came to be but Michelle has always loved the idea of sharing her thoughts and enjoys interviewing people. She loves to make people laugh too! It started out as just a "pie in the sky" idea with her friend and co-host after a few Cosmopolitans. But what started as "Bar Talk" became a reality. It's a fun, exciting and interesting endeavor but the shooting for the show is sproradic and there is no income from this project. So far, it's more like a hobby. Michelle would like to see the show become more like "Chelsea Lately" on the E! channel. Chelsea Handler is the host and she is HILARIOUS/CRAZY!! She has a book out called "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea!" Michelle would love to do a local version of this show. But how? How can she meet the right people in the media business to make this happen, how do you get sponsors so the show makes money, and then she wonders "DO I suck" and is this just a stupid idea?
Michelle has always loved to shop and has an appreciation for the finer things in life from 1,500 count sheets to Christian Louboutin shoes. Years ago, she came up with the idea for a personal shopping business called "Good, Better, Best!" where she could find exactly what you were looking for whether it be sheets, towels, dishes, underwear or shoes using those 3 catagories to guide the client. Also, she will get your item at the best price possible! Most people are fine with the Good. They don't want to pay for the BEST but she would give them the option. It's something they probably don't even know they can't live without like 1,500 count sheets. Once you try them, you'll never go back to a blend! BLECH! But now with the economy where it is, this doesn't feel like a viable option for Michelle. And even it were, how does she get started? Is this idea stupid too? Self doubt has reared it's ugly head again and Michelle is paralized with fear.
Personal:
It wasn't until Michelle was interviewed for the Hot Mommas Project that she discovered she still mattered and she was excited again. She wasn't just a dish rag! She had something of value to offer. Life experience. She had a story to share that someone else might benifit from. But with every discovery lurks uncertainty and fear. She knew she still had the "GOODS" to deliver but did she have the courage to make it happen? Michelle couldn't execute her ideas. How could she overcome entering "SCAREVILLE" which was the unknown and was far from "Pleasentville?" It's a frightening prospect. What if she fails? What if she succeeds? How will her family react? In the end, does she really want it? Does she still believe in herself enough to make it happen?
The 10 year nap was over for Michelle. She woke up and now she can't go back to sleep! She's awake and ready for the next chapter in her life to start whatever that may be. It's an exciting prospect when one discovers their life isn't over and they still matter.